Non-binary 101 episode 7

The pressure in keeping up a weekly blog on something is quite difficult, but here's the latest installment. Also, I've changed the name to something that isn't weekly. It's now Non-Binary 101 (see the pun?)

Following the fun of last post, not a lot happened for the rest of the year or into January. We had Christmas which meant we had a self-invited visit from my mother for four nights. She is, not to put too fine a point on it, a bigot. Racist, homophobic, transphobic, you name it, she doesn't like it. She said, while we were watching some panel show on TV which had a drag queen as one of its participants, that she would disown her son if he dressed like that. In all honesty, if I'd thought it was a genuine threat, the temptation to go upstairs, slap on some lippy and pull on a frock before coming back downstairs before telling her to fuck off was actually very strong. It was bad enough that I felt I couldn't chill out in my own home in, say, a pair of leggings (I've got these fantastic 12 Days of Christmas ones from Tikiboo which I like to wear on Christmas Day). You may be thinking I'm being uncharitable to the woman who brought me into the world, but she was utterly vile to our son, her own grandson, so sue me. She's not coming back.

I had resolved to do more actual comedy gigs in the New Year, aside from compering my own monthly night, Jockularity, so the first night of the rest of my comedy life happened on 3rd Janurary at a bar called Santiago and a night called Scratch 'n' Sniff in Leeds run by some friends operate under the name No Money in the Bank. It's also a milestone as this was the very first gig I did under the name Bex Shields and was billed as such. I should add that I say I did it "under the name" of Bex, not "as" Bex because this implies that I'm not doing the show as myself, but as somebody else. This isn't true. It doesn't matter if people are calling me Bex or calling me Iain, I'm the same person. On the other hand, I am presently working on a character act that will involve performing "as" another persona.

That's me in the middle (not the corner. I'm not Michael Stipe)

Anyway, as this was the first actual comedy set I'd done in a while, as opposed to compering Jockularity, and, given the fact I was performing under my non-binary name, I had to write a lot of new material. I've been preforming as non-binary for a couple of years, to be fair, so I had a some material already, but this gig was different. I did have some bits of new stuff I'd written for the comedy set planned for the work's Christmas Party that didn't go ahead, but needed to pad it out and link it all together. So I drove to Leeds to do the gig. I went more androgynous than I have done of late in faux leather trousers and my nice tan suede boots (I'll talk about shoes further down). The gig went qute well, I think (these things are very subjective, but I got laughs). After the show I was messing about with a Funko Pop AI generator which allows you to create a doll of yourself and created one to comemorate my first gig as Bex. One thing I didn't appreciate was the bar tender clling me "mate". I'm going to write about this in the next post but, suffice it to say for now, it's actually very jarring being referred to by male terms of familiarity when I'm presenting the way I do when I perform.

Fun and games with AI image generators My outfit for my very first gig under the name Bex and the Funko Pop I created via AI (the real me is the cuter one on the left in case you're wondering)

Jockularity was the following week. I'd had a sneaky trip to my favourite Next outlet and found a gorgeous faux leather skirt, so wore that along with Rip Curl T-shirt and Snag Figgy Pudding tights. This was also the first time I'd compered and promoted it under the name Bex (I'd used the name Bex on some publicity previously, but in a bit of a half-arsed way). It went off well, with all of the acts having a great show. One of the acts was someone I knew back in the day when I was doing comedy in Manchester, so that was another outing. As sual, I headed out to another bar for a wee nightcap afterwards with my girl pal, which is always nice. After dropping her off at her place, on my way home I made a stop off at a 24 hour Asda (this is becoming a habit after my comedy gig, but I guess I just love being assumed to be a woman in any environment) and managed to pick up a few new things in the sale (burgundy faux leather leggings, burgundy jeans and a blue long-sleeved t-shirt, fact fans). I think I do see a pattern with the faux leather thing though, maybe I'm a closet vegan Goth

The outfit for Jockularity this month (I don't want to make this al about clothes, but faux leather skirt from Next, Rip Curl V-neck T-shirt, denim jacket, cheap Sainsbury's scarf and Snag Figgy Pudding tights

Post-gig chilling A face only a mother could love. Just not my mother since I wrote that she should fuck off in the text because she's awful

So, about shoes. For a male I have very small feet. I'm a size 6. Now, given that many men's shoe ranges start at 7, I'm onto a loser in a lot of shops before I even start. When I buy boy shoes I usually have to settle for anything the shop has in my size, which is usually very limited. In fact it's worse than that. I have a small size 6 foot so often, even if there are pairs in that size, they are still too big. I can't just barge into a shoe shop and pick any pair I like and wear them home. However, when it comes to girl shoes, it turns out I have average-sized feet (really, see below), so I can get a pair in pretty much any style I choose. In fact, I can buy shoes online from the women's section and I know they'll a: have them in stock, and b: they'll usually fit. I have had some issues where I've bought shoes online and they have been a little snug, or occasionally just plain too small, but usually it's not a problem. Trainers particuarly need to be a half size bigger than I'd normally order (I've been wearing trainers from the women's range for quite a few years now), but the point remains, I have an embarrasment of riches to select from in women's shoes. I would also add that the range of shoes for women is vast, with way more styles than men's, and also some of them are just plain hideous (I really can't do patent, for example, and as I think I've already mentioned in a previous post, I don't do heels, which gives me an idea for this entry's musical component).

I have average-sized feet for a British woman

Post Christmas means sales and I did buy one or two things. Speaking of shoes, I bought some really nice boots from fast fashion retailer Cider. Despite what I said above, they do have a 2-3in heel, but it's manageable. I also ordered a striped top that I really liked too (enough to get over the free posting limt). Also, I've been after some new work shoes and wanted something smart but not overtly femme and saw some really nice brogues from Clarks (from their Hamble range, the name of which brings back some traumatic memories of a doll they had on Playschool)) that were very cheap on Amazon. They took a while to arrive, but they fitted perfectly and I love how they look. They work in my mainly male work presentation but would also look great with a skirt.

New Shoes Clark's Hamble leather brogues

The other Hamble Creepy doll alert from Playschool. Do try not to have nightmares Source: https://mudskipperpress.com/2021/05/30/seventies-tv-3-hamble/

As mentioned, this post's tune is from the fantastic Billy Nomates. As she says "I do not do heels" which is an odd proclamation for me to make, given I'm such a short arse. However, I don't actually see the need to. Don't get me wrong, they look great, but I really don't want to try and walk around in footwear that might actually kill me. I may wear heels for the character act I'm developing but, as Bex, I do not wear heels as Billy says

Billy Nomates Heels

Otherwise,fitness wise, I started RED January for I think the 6th year. The idea is you do some exercise (it started as being about running, Run Every Day, hence RED) and it's run in conjunction with mental health charities. I'd actually started four days before the New Year, but my streak ended when I couldn't be bothered to get up and do a workout session at 6:30 am on the day I had Jockularity. I mean, it's not terribly enticing, getting up in pitch black and when it's decidedly chilly in the house because the heating hasn't come on, working up a sweat and making the kitchen window steam up as you do 30 minutes of Les Mills On Demand with instructors who have no fucking right being that fucking chipper at 6-fucking-thirty in the fucking morning. Anyway, there was the usual array of great leggings from Tikiboo. I really could do with some new post-workout poses for selfies.